Becoming The Person You Want to Attract

by Dana Boyle on December 6, 2011

I remember when I was out there on the dating scene and I had a huge list of things I wanted in a mate.  It was three pages back and front, actually.  There were things I was looking for as well as a list of things I would not accept, and some things that I thought might tip me off to problems down the road.  I got good at being on the lookout for all of these things, or for clues of them, as I dated different people.

It gets easier to know what we want as we get more experience dating, partly because we’ve experienced a lot of what we don’t want.

The thing is, we can want what we want all day long, but the simple truth is that you’re not going to attract the person you want in your life with all those qualities unless you’re willing to become what you’re asking for.

Did you ever stop to actually think about the things you’re asking your mate (future mate) to be and do for you?  If you do, and you actually write those things down you can have a concrete list to look at and get honest with yourself.

Are you all those things?

You know the things on your list.  Are you kind?  Are you patient?  Are you forgiving?  Are you fun?  Are you family-oriented?  Are you in good physical shape?  Are you supportive?  Do you make a great income?  Do you work hard?  Are you romantic?

I could go on, but you get the picture.

If you can’t do the work to eliminate some of your bad habits or to grow as a person so that you are what it is you’re looking for, the potential mates you attract will fall short too.  Who you are dating has a lot to do with what is going on with you.  The people sitting across the booth from you are a reflection of who you are being – or what you are telling yourself – or the kind of attitude you have.

Can you ask someone to be that which you are not willing to be? 

You can, but you probably won’t get the response you’d hoped for.

Becoming the Person You Want to Attract is one of the classes in my Winning the Love Lottery course that begins January 10 and is offered twice a year.  You can enroll in the three month course OR take only the classes you’re interested in and pay as you go.

For more info or to enroll email me at or view the Winning the Love Lottery information page. 

The class is limited to only 10 people so that we can do some powerful work to transform your dating life and results.  Enrollment is now open!

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