Book Preview Chapter One: What Are You Bringing?

by Dana Boyle on June 28, 2012

I’ve begun writing my first book.  There has been so much praise for my Winning the Love Lottery course and what it teaches – really, how it transforms my clients’ dating mindset and experience, that it has to be written.  My clients have asked me to write it.

I’ve been working on chapter one, which is about assessing yourself before you do anything else.  It is vital that you first understand the core of who you are, what you bring to the table, and what you need before you set out looking for someone else to add to your life.

As one of my mentors, Michele Woodward, recently said, “Actions that are taken with clarity are much more likely to get the results that you want.”

Clarity is a multi-step process when it comes to dating and looking for the person you want to share your life with.  One of the first steps is becoming clear about who you are.

This is important because you’re looking for a mate for who?   You.  Right?

So often, I see people stumble into relationships thoughtlessly or default into relationships that they know aren’t right for them because they are approaching dating from a needy, “who’s gonna love me?” place instead of a confident, “I’m worthy of someone who meets my needs and loves me for who I am” place.

It’s not your job to convince the other person to love you.  It’s not your job to get in their head and figure out what will please them or make them want to be with you.  It’s your job to know your worth, know your needs and values, and make decisions about who you want to be with and who you will give your love to based on that knowledge.

When you are fully in your own business, being fully yourself, owning everything about you, that’s when the right people will be attracted to you.

Chapter one includes homework exercises and powerful questions about values, self-assessments of both positive and negative traits, and love languages.  It walks you through the very steps I took to get clear about myself when I set out to meet my husband.  That’s the inspiration for the book.  It’s the process I personally used to get myself exactly where I needed to be to find David.  That’s why it’s so fun for me to share.

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