Want to Know More About Me?

MY BUSINESS VISION

A relationship center.

To help people realize that our connection with others is the most important thing in life, and help them create the best possible relationships they can imagine for themselves, even if that means the ideal divorced family relationship.  Chaos doesn’t have to be the default setting.

WHY?

My core values are family, connection and kindness/calm – sprinkled with engaging all of my senses and a feeling of bliss.  If I have to guess, I would say my parents have a lot to do with it.  They made our family central in their lives.  We were top priority over jobs, friends and to do lists, and they made each other top priority so that they wouldn’t have to explain to us why they were divorced.  We experienced and appreciated life and each other every day.

My parents gave me a sense of unity and identity through the way they related to each other and raised us as a united front.  I saw them as one unit and myself as belonging to that unit.  My wish is that all families can feel that sense of identity and that if a marriage can be saved and/or improved, they give it a shot – or that even after divorce they make their family the first priority.

People have relationships for a myriad of reasons.  If they’re honest, most of them have relationships for connection, depth, meaning and love – to create a sense of security and safety in world that easily rejects us and judges us.  Many of us want to create our own family unit with someone we love, even if we haven’t found them yet.  I want to help people find that special someone who they can make a family life with, even if it’s just the two of them.

A SNAPSHOT OF MY LIFE IN REAL TIME

I’m married to David. He’s wonderful.  We are in our third year of marriage and it’s been both more challenging than we thought and more rewarding.  We are finding that comfortable, happy place, putting our faith in God and learning how to be a husband and  a wife.  David is super supportive, a great provider in every sense of the word, an affectionate soul, and he’s hilarious.  We can often be found sitting on the same side of a booth sharing a great meal together…and we even sit side by side when we eat dinner at home.  I’m so thankful that we found each other.

I work out of two places. When I meet with clients in person or go to court, I have an office in Kenosha, Wisconsin.  It’s a nice place.  I love the people who also have offices there, fellow attorneys who are friends and colleagues of mine, and their staff.  When I meet with clients by phone or over use of technology, or I have no meetings or hearings, I work out of my home-office.  It’s a sanctuary where I can put my feet up, listen to music, burn candles, wear my pajamas or slippers if I want, open a window, listen to the birds and watch the animals that wander through our yard all day, and be myself.  I love that I can toss in laundry or make dinner, or stop for a break and take a walk, all while getting work done when I’m there.

We are on a fertility journey, trying to become parents. We lost our first baby on October 7, 2011, at 12 weeks 5 days pregnant.  We conceived our second child in November 2011 and learned we were losing that baby by Christmas.  We have been grieving and moving forward, and we’ve been through treatments and examinations, and we look forward to having a family as soon as we can.

I have three beautiful nieces who are five and under: Stella and Olive are my sister’s daughters, and Chelsea is David’s sister’s daughter. Stella has been my heart since she was born and now her sister, Olive, is too.  I never imagined you could love a child that isn’t your own that much until my own sister had a baby.  Stella is a sweet soul, super sensitive to others, a smarty-pants (in a good way), and she loves all the beauty in the world (rainbows, bees, bunnies, the moon).  Olive is turning 2 and she’s curious, adventurous, funny, quick, and has the best smile I’ve ever seen.  Chelsea and I share that we’re both Capricorns, and I get her.  She’s quite the cutie and wants to do everything herself and is independent and smart as a whip – I can relate.  I think we have a special bond, too.

I have two dogs:  Luther is an 11 year old Border Collie-Lab mix and Laney is an 9 year old Blue Heeler-Border Collie Mix.   I got Luther right after 9/11, when the world didn’t seem safe or innocent anymore and I lived alone and needed a family member to comfort me.  I got Laney to comfort Luther while I was at work…which she did not.  Instead, she gave him a run for his money and still does.  Trivia:  They have the same mom.

WHAT I DO IN MY FREE TIME

I love cooking.  I cook for David most nights.  I cook for family too.  I love to entertain with my friends.  You’ll hear a lot about my cooking because by popular demand I have moved my cooking blog to this site and will be posting great meal ideas, recipes, tips and tricks, as well as date night ideas and even offering cooking classes right here!  Watch my blog and the cooking tab for updates.

To keep myself moving I take brisk, long walks and I do yoga and Pilates from time to time.  Sometimes it’s consistent and regular.  Sometimes it’s not.  I also love to ride my bike and I do that with my husband.  One of my big passions is dancing, and I’m working on getting him to take dance lessons with me.  I’m looking for a female golf buddy.  I love to golf, but nobody has been able to golf with me in a few years, so I’m rusty.

I write.  I guess nowadays a lot of my writing isn’t “free” time, but work.  It’s a good thing when your work becomes something you love doing.  Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.  I’m getting close.

I love to garden.  My mom is a master gardener and I have learned from her most of what I know.  Most of all I know I love when spring comes and things that I planted make their way through the soil up to the sunshine and then attract butterflies, bumble bees and birds.  My plants are like pets to me.  I used to wish I was one of those people who knew plant and tree names and I decided I would be one day – and I’m happy to say that I am getting closer and closer to that goal.  My husband would say I’m there…because I know many of them now.  When I was in Phoenix this spring the girls who were with me teased me because I was so into the new plant-life I had never seen in the Midwest, East Coast or the South.

I’m a planner and dreamer – so I spend a little time each day envisioning things the way I want them, even planning and plotting them out, but mostly affirming them and envisioning them.  It feels good to me to play around with how I want life to look and what I want to create.

I like to socialize – so I spend time on social networks and out in the world interacting and connecting with others.  I am energized by it.

I decorate my space purposefully.  I guess I’d take several of the things I listed for granted because they come easily to me, but those are my essential talents and gifts, and the things I love most.  I love to live in and invite others into a welcoming and beautiful space that is balanced and has good energy.  I told my husband I decorate my house with Feng Shui on about our sixth date and he replied, “You can arrange things how you want, just don’t tell me why.”  :)

MY STYLE STATEMENT

Innovative/Sensual:

80% – my foundation – at my core – Innovative:

Consummate entrepreneur, always on the lookout for the next big thing, a breakthrough idea or invention.  Innovative is forever seeking ways to renew, recharge, and replenish and has a hard time with stagnation and unyieldingness.  Perceptive, in tune, and extraordinarily resourceful, Innovative has a knack for finding and creating opportunities that lead to prosperity in multiple ways.  They are connectors, mavens, and enthusiastic and natural networkers who make things happen.  Innovative has a tendency to rush ahead or be dismissive of thoughts and experiences before they have been thoroughly explored.  With so many ideas to pursue, they can take on too much.  They have a fascination with eccentric people and certainly have a few of their own quirks and eccentricities.  They are unabashedly insatiable and determined.  Fabulous cheerleaders and champions, Innovative adores being adored and blossoms with acknowledgment and adulation.

Look & Feel:  Unique, individualized, avant-garde, creative, cutting edge.  Can range from high concept and highly stylized to quirky and whimsical.  Must be custom made and tailored.  Typically simple and streamlined.

20% – my creative edge – how I express myself – Sensual:

Sensual eats life whole.  They wrote the book on the pleasure principle.  For Sensual, physical and erotic comfort and aesthetic delight are akin to spiritual fulfillment.  Even more than their love for the arts – both mystical and material – cuisine, erotica,  and nature, it is Sensual’s intuitive capacities that are so defining.  Sensual is not only a loyal devotee to the five senses, but are gifted with extrasensory capacities such as intuition, a keen awareness of timing, and psychic sensitivity.  Their shadow side can be predatorily seductive or will tend to over-spiritualize in an effort to justify.  Holistically inclined, Sensual dances with the terra firma and the cosmos.  They can be, surprisingly to some, very practical, commonsensical, and clearheaded, identifying as closely with their minds and intellectual curiosity as their physical nature and appetites.

Look & Feel: Sexy, erotic, highly feminine.  Lush, generous, flowing, supple, curvy.  Tactile.  Vibrant colors.  Plethora of sights and smells and sounds.  Cosmopolitan cooking.  Mystical, ethereal.  Healing.

MY MOST DEFINING MOMENT

I experienced my most defining moment in life early on.  I was hit by a car when I was three years old.  I was “dead” for a few minutes.  I experienced an “out-of-body” or “near death” experience.  It sounds funny for a three year old, but it changed my life.  I know what happens when my body dies, at least at the beginning.  I know it’s peaceful and beautiful, and that I don’t want to stay in my body.  I know there are angels who guide me, because they knew it wasn’t time and they made me go back when I didn’t want to.  I know it’s warm and comfortable, and that I’m in a state of love.

I know that the spirit that was outside my body is actually me.  The body is optional.  I go on with or without it.  So do you.  So that battle you’re fighting or that boulder you roll up that same hill every day or that pain or struggle you are going through is only in this time and space, and it’s only as important as you make it.  I make things less important now, except for the love and the things that make me feel joy or connection, because that’s what we’re here for.  In just a second it can all be taken away, so make sure you soak up all the joy you can.

MY MOST PIVOTAL PERSON(s)

My gosh, there are so many.

If my dad hadn’t stepped up to the plate, I’d have had a wholly different life story.  He was there as a dad, provided for us, and told us we can do or be anything we want.

If my mom hadn’t been such a no-nonsense, get things done kind of person, I’d have easily been overcome by my sensitivity and spent way too much time licking my wounds rather than getting on with life.

If I hadn’t had the influence of my 9th grade biology teacher, Chuck Romano and his wife Fran, or of my mom’s mentor Naomi Marhefka and her husband Bernie, I’d have left my sensitivity in the dust and forgotten or never learned my manners and how to truly connect with people and make them feel important, and most importantly, I would have forgotten to be sensitive to my own feelings and to make myself feel important, in my quest to be what I wanted and get things done in life.

If I hadn’t met Dianna Traina, I’d have never learned not to judge others, and to welcome all kinds of people into my life, because God loves us all, even when we sin, or do wrong, or are poor, or have something physically or mentally wrong with us, or have been through something ugly.

If I hadn’t called Lori Hamann in my mid-twenties, in the midst of my quarter life crisis when I felt that I would never get out of the job I hated or the relationship that drained me of life, I would never have owned my life, taken responsibility for my role and my creation of it all, and learned to reframe the way I look at my decisions and circumstances; and I would have never known what the law of attraction is or studied it and learned how to create the life I want instead of bitching about the life I was “stuck” with.

MOST LIFE CHANGING BOOK I’VE READ

Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting – The Astonishing Power of Feelings, by Lynn Grabhorn.

I already studied law of attraction prior to reading this book, but I was still struggling with some of the very key areas of my life and making things happen.  This book flipped a switch for me.  It’s different for everyone, but the way that Lynn explained it was funny, irreverent and made sense in common sense terms.  The basic premise is crap in, crap out.  If you feel like crap, you attract crap.  If you are emoting crap, you are attracting crap.  It’s not that you deserve it or that you are specifically attracting THAT crap, it’s that your putting crap out and that attracts crap of the same caliber.  That simple.

What I love about it is that you don’t have to “control your thoughts” or pay attention to what you’re thinking all damn day long or go to therapy to fix all your childhood hang-ups.  Who does that?  I couldn’t.  Instead, all you have to do is feel good.  If you can’t feel good, then you throw a hissy fit (preferably the non-violent kind), acknowledge what you’re upset about, and move on to something else that feels better.  Doesn’t have to be the same topic if you can’t feel good about your checking account balance or your boss.  You can feel good by laughing at something totally unrelated, doing something you enjoy, or focusing on something you feel better about.  The point is, if you can feel better you pull in better experiences to your life.  Like attracts like.  So if you feel pretty good, crap can’t find you.  The best part is that if you can feel better, you may even attract a better boss or checking account balance, even if you’re not focused on thinking about it at all because you’re too busy laughing at the dog video someone just sent you.

I started living that way and doing the things she suggested and my whole life changed.  I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t so.  The entire game changed.  I have a  new husband, home, business and income to prove it.  And that’s only so far.

The other key, I’d say, is gratitude, and nobody teaches that better than Louise Hay.  I learned to thank my bills from Louise Hay.  If that ain’t motivation enough for you to check her out, I don’t know what is.

CURRENT FAVORITES

Color – Purple

Animal – Blue Bird

Song – Home by Phillip Phillips

Time of Day – Just after Sunrise

Sound – Birds singing

Food – Mexican food, Italian food, and anything with shrimp in it.  I love raisins, avocados, oats, yogurt, anything braised, and anything on a tortilla or served with pasta.  We are into smoothies and have a Vitamix to boot.

THINGS THAT DELIGHT ME

Babies

The excitement and wonder of children

Coffee

My husband’s eyes and laugh, especially when he laughs at himself

The smell of what’s cooking for dinner filling the house

Flowers growing in the garden

The Sun and the Moon

Bumble bees and dragonflies and hummingbirds and butterflies and birds – ok anything that flies

The way my dogs look at me – “love me, love me…pet me, pet me…and could ya throw my frisbee please?”

THINGS I WILL NOT TOLERATE

Outright Demands

Time Sucks

Deviation from my core values

Deviation from my mission

Unkindness